My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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