Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
