I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
