Got a toothbrush?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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