Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
