clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
