standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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