She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
