after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
