saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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