Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
