Porn is love you can see.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize