I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
