like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
