well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
