What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
