no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize