They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
