Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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