Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
