Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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