That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
