Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
