i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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