I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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