We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
