i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
