This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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