So drunk, too bad you don't want this
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
