take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
