Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize