I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
