I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
