I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
