Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
