it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize