would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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