uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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