porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
