Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i think i have herpe
just one?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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