Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
