I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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