There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
