It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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