Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
