it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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