I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Couch. On fire.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize