he thought i was a dude.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
