I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
