You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
