So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
