Tell her she can't have a vagina
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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