Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize